Wedding HELP...

[shyraven]

I figured this would be the place to post this... As per an earlier post, I got engaged over Christmas and now we're planning to have the wedding July 5, 2008. I need help though.

Number 1: Any advice (from those who are married or are in the proccess of getting married)? Any tips on what to do or where to look? Anything would help. The nice thing is that my parents have offered to pay for the wedding...which was a nice shock. As an only daughter, I could see why. Anyways, I'm not too much worried about money now, but I don't want to run the bill up high either. Any money saving tips??

Number 2: Mother-in-law...that must say it all. I get a long with my future mother-in-law, the only problem is that she is extremely stubborn. My fiance and I are both from Tofield, but we both want the wedding in Edmonton because it would be much more convenient for everybody. Long story short, she freaked out when she found out that we want the wedding in Edmonton. She claims that if the wedding is not in Tofield, she refuses to come. Any advice on how to handle this situation?? How can I plan the wedding that I want and still appease her?

HELP!!!

[N. McKay]

Two bits of advice:

1. Don't get too wound up over the small details -- they will all seem trivial once the day is over.

2. It's your and your fiancée's wedding, and no-one else's, so do what you want.

[Lt.Jen]

Hi Jennifer,

I got married in September. My mother in law as well is such a wonderful woman, who as well is very stubborn. For our wedding she didn't want us to have Navy blue for our bridesmaids dresses, especially ones that were sleeveless, because Steve's sister didn't like her arms.

WELL Steve and I, as well as his mother and sister went to the bridal salon to see the dresses that I had picked out. His sister said that the dress wasn't acceptable to her. His mother said that if Bev isn't comfortable, then we couldn't go with them. My answer, fine I have someone who will...

Put your foot down, it's your wedding. The day that you have though about since you were little,....don't let someone else's sour attitude ruin it.

Ask your future mother in law to go with you to see some locations, she might change her mind.

Any other questions, feel free to ask me.

Jen

[Juice]

The most common advice I keep hearing is BOOK EARLY. Think about doing some of the booking now, like for a hall if that's where you want your reception to be, and other such stuff that might need to be booked in advance.

I'm in the same boat, but Robin and I are giving ourselves an extra year (possibly two) to plan everything and put it all into motion.

JB

[shyraven]

I suddenly see why people elope...LOL... Anyways, thanks for the advice. I think I may have to put my foot down with a lot of things, not just my mother-in-law. I have some possible bridesmaids that may cause problems too. But that was my thought...it's my wedding and I will have it how I want it. I want to take into consideration what my family and friends want, but if I won't be happy with the decision, then I won't do it that way. My parents have been extemely suppotive, which is great. Like I said, my parents have offered to help pay and they also said that they won't give any input (unless asked). Again, thanks for the help!!

Oh...and if you have anymore advice...keep em coming!!

[Lt.Jen]

Don't forget that your parents are footing the bill....don't have anyone take over, make sure that your parents are involved. Let them see where their money is going.

[N. McKay]

I think I may have to put my foot down with a lot of things, not just my mother-in-law.

I assume there's a metaphor in there, but the sentence is so much better if you pretend there isn't.


Like I said, my parents have offered to help pay and they also said that they won't give any input (unless asked).

Best of both worlds!

[militarybulldog]

Number 2: Mother-in-law...that must say it all. I get a long with my future mother-in-law, the only problem is that she is extremely stubborn. My fiance and I are both from Tofield, but we both want the wedding in Edmonton because it would be much more convenient for everybody. Long story short, she freaked out when she found out that we want the wedding in Edmonton. She claims that if the wedding is not in Tofield, she refuses to come. Any advice on how to handle this situation?? How can I plan the wedding that I want and still appease her?

HELP!!!

Offer to arrange a video link so she can watch the wedding from home ;) . Seriously, if she gets her way on this issue just wait until you're married (she'll feel okay with naming your children; deciding where you'll celebrate holidays, etc.) It's your life with your husband - it would be nice if she's involved but she's not essential to the happiness equation - don't give her the power to make you or your future husband miserable. Decide with your beau where you want to get married and then let those you love know they're invited. If they choose not to involve themselves, you should view that as their loss not yours. This should be one of the happiest days of your life - rant done!

[S Urbanoski]

I have some possible bridesmaids that may cause problems too.

Your bridesmaids should be some of your greatest friends who are there to support you. Not to cause infinite numbers of problems.

That being said, I told my bridesmaids that as long as their dresses were floor length and in the same blue as the wedding - I didn't care what they wore. It seemed silly to pay for/make them pay for dresses that they may never wear again. Besides, that way everyone is dressed in what they are most comfortable in and thus happier and easier to deal with. :)

[shyraven]

Offer to arrange a video link so she can watch the wedding from home ;) . Seriously, if she gets her way on this issue just wait until you're married (she'll feel okay with naming your children; deciding where you'll celebrate holidays, etc.) It's your life with your husband - it would be nice if she's involved but she's not essential to the happiness equation - don't give her the power to make you or your future husband miserable. Decide with your beau where you want to get married and then let those you love know they're invited. If they choose not to involve themselves, you should view that as their loss not yours. This should be one of the happiest days of your life - rant done!

That is awesome!! I'm going to try that if she complains again. That would probably get her to be quiet. As for her getting involved in our life, she does already. She treats Myles like he's 12...it's like she can't see that he's 30 now. But I'm still going to use that line. That is awesome.

[N. McKay]

That is awesome!! I'm going to try that if she complains again. That would probably get her to be quiet. As for her getting involved in our life, she does already. She treats Myles like he's 12...it's like she can't see that he's 30 now. But I'm still going to use that line. That is awesome.

Dear Abby is full of situations like this!

[J. Gleiberman]

I figured this would be the place to post this... As per an earlier post, I got engaged over Christmas and now we're planning to have the wedding July 5, 2008. I need help though.

Number 1: Any advice (from those who are married or are in the proccess of getting married)? Any tips on what to do or where to look? Anything would help. The nice thing is that my parents have offered to pay for the wedding...which was a nice shock. As an only daughter, I could see why. Anyways, I'm not too much worried about money now, but I don't want to run the bill up high either. Any money saving tips??

Number 2: Mother-in-law...that must say it all. I get a long with my future mother-in-law, the only problem is that she is extremely stubborn. My fiance and I are both from Tofield, but we both want the wedding in Edmonton because it would be much more convenient for everybody. Long story short, she freaked out when she found out that we want the wedding in Edmonton. She claims that if the wedding is not in Tofield, she refuses to come. Any advice on how to handle this situation?? How can I plan the wedding that I want and still appease her?

HELP!!!

With respect to Number 1: Try and do things yourself, such as picking the invitations, mailing etc. The more you do on your own the cheaper I found it to be. Also be prepared to shop around, my wife and I visited 10 Halls before we found the one that suited us both for price and location. Lastly don't be penny wise and pound foolish. It might be cheaper to hire cousin Albert who took the Photog Course on Tech Training at Borden in 1986, but the end product might not be to your liking and before you go to war with Albert it might be best to investigate a professional. Make sure you investigate the DJ and the Photographer, get references, look at their work, maybe visit a wedding they are working at, before you hire them. These two guys believe it or not can make or break your wedding and cause gas pains if you have a bad experience with them. Remember you don't get a do over (unless you hire me next and then you get the do over:lol: ).

With respect to Number 2: Be Careful, contrary to what I thought before I got married. You are going to have to live with Mommy Dearest for a long long time, and weddings have a tendency to come back to haunt you many years later:banghead: . But on the otherhand it is your wedding not hers so don't be a door mat.

BTW don't rely on your husband, for picking anything. I discovered that I became colour blind and Scroogelike the further into the process it got.:lol:

[Lt(N) Jean Cyr]

That is awesome!! I'm going to try that if she complains again. That would probably get her to be quiet. As for her getting involved in our life, she does already. She treats Myles like he's 12...it's like she can't see that he's 30 now. But I'm still going to use that line. That is awesome.


Give her a job. A real one (associated with the wedding). That usually keeps folks quiet (and satisfied) :)

You keep her busy enough with something she'll forget that she wants everything her way ;)

J