Insults that aren't insulting [Archive]

Nitrane

8th June 2004, 22:42

I may be unique at this, but with my tightest circle of friends, I am known from time to time to fling insults insanely fast. Yet, the insults aren't really insults because they are not insulting at all... well at least I don't think so. So, here are some non insulting insults you can use to amuse your friends.

"cheese grater head"
"noodle head"
"(anything non insulting here) head"

as you can see, I rely to much on the use of head. How do you make fun of your friends without actually making fun of them?

Medic_Marleau

9th June 2004, 02:04

I tell my friend his mom wears army boots.... she's a CIC officer.

Lance

9th June 2004, 02:25

i just insult them with whatever. :p its cool tho cause we all know we're just kiddin around :)

wb256

9th June 2004, 06:18

your mom's an insult that isn't insulting

(or something to that effect)

Jez

9th June 2004, 06:35

someone called me a dingo the other day...didn't find it all that insulting!

sgt4life

9th June 2004, 09:25

We call each other office supplies...

"You're SUCH an eraser!"
"Highlighter head!"
"Post-it-note for brains!"

SLt T. Clausen

9th June 2004, 10:17

Friend: "Look at that sign. It's so big!" (or something as equally trivial)

Me: "Your FACE is so big!"

Friend: "Your MOM is so big!"

Me: *gasp!* "Take it back!"

Yeah... we do that a lot... lol.

Lt(N) Jean Cyr

9th June 2004, 10:19

LOL

In my office, Lt(N) Terry and I are referred to (lovingly I might add) as Pinky and the Brain....

I have no idea why. :)

CProctor

9th June 2004, 10:25

LOL

In my office, Lt(N) Terry and I are referred to (lovingly I might add) as Pinky and the Brain....

I have no idea why. :)

But.... who's who?

Lt(N) Jean Cyr

9th June 2004, 10:28

But.... who's who?

Alas, I'm Pinky :)

Kay_Robinson

9th June 2004, 11:30

My favourite is the comeback...i know u are but what am i...if they arnt dumbfounded that u actually remember that from ur childhood, then they be stuned that u actually said it.

Pirate

9th June 2004, 13:17

we refer to them as smelling like feckus (feces)
the common phrase of "numty" (which YOU didn't invent, I might add)
adding anything to "face" to make it an insult
ex. Transom face, desk face
or adding slang parts of the body and relating them to clothing items
ex. "@$$ hat"
or other parts of the body
..no example here...

because these things are just so silly, how could you be offended by them?

gunzgirl85

9th June 2004, 13:23

man my friend and fellow cadet Erica always calls me Numpty!!! :mad:

Ching

9th June 2004, 13:32

Your moms so fat they had to took her grad picture with a satellite
ZING!!!

I mean...

NO SHE"S NOT!!
*sob*

Pirate

9th June 2004, 13:36

man my friend and fellow cadet Erica always calls me Numpty!!! :mad:
If you asked a shipwright, we'd say it's OUR word..(but we couldn't have made it up, could we?)

GoGunz

9th June 2004, 14:35

yo' mama jokes aren't insulting at all, they are WAY too overused. They aren't even funny...

Ching

9th June 2004, 14:40

Sure they are. You just have to find the right moment. It's all about the comedic timing.

Pilot

9th June 2004, 14:47

Your moms so fat they had to took her grad picture with a satellite
hahahahhaha....

CLASSIC WALLACE..

Beka_Slaney

9th June 2004, 15:17

yo' mama jokes aren't insulting at all, they are WAY too overused. They aren't even funny...

You're not even funny
:eek:

hehe.... thats about the hars my jokes get.. they say somthing i say it back, the best was my friend cooper i know this one. with 2 of the po2's..... Chief ralph thats gross! ........You're gross! haha that was the best.

ArmyBoatswain

10th June 2004, 04:03

You're not even funny
:eek:

hehe.... thats about the hars my jokes get.. they say somthing i say it back, the best was my friend cooper i know this one. with 2 of the po2's..... Chief ralph thats gross! ........You're gross! haha that was the best.
Hey!!! That was mean, lol... I mean... "C-food" is just plain nasty! I didn't need to see that, and than when I tell you that's gross, Bell opens her mouth and says "your gross" back to me!lol... That was evil... i swear you guys share the same brain, or you guys just don't have one at all, lol!

Beka_Slaney

10th June 2004, 08:11

Hey!!! That was mean, lol... I mean... "C-food" is just plain nasty! I didn't need to see that, and than when I tell you that's gross, Bell opens her mouth and says "your gross" back to me!lol... That was evil... i swear you guys share the same brain, or you guys just don't have one at all, lol!

Either that or we both jus think your gross :p

Coomber 535

10th June 2004, 08:19

I just yell "I hope you die!" I use it literally every sentence... so now it's no longer insulting. I yell it at people when I drive all the time too. I use it so often people say, "do you hope I die?" after insulting me!!

:)

ArmyBoatswain

10th June 2004, 12:31

Either that or we both jus think your gross :p
Well, What if I think your gross!?!? :p lol

ArmyBoatswain

10th June 2004, 12:33

Eric, is that the only thing you yell at people to insult them when your driving...because I remember something else you said when we made those wrong turns, and when that lady was cutting us off, lol...
I'll jog your memory... I was on the phone wit my GRANDMOTHER. That should be enough.

WO1 Lewis

10th June 2004, 12:41

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smells of ELDERBERRY!

Nitrane

10th June 2004, 14:25

sometimes I drive around shouting "woah" at the top of my lungs to the people who walk by. Most comedic reaction was the guy who literally jumped two feet before falling on his butt on the ice. Nearly died laughing.

Ching

10th June 2004, 14:39

I bet he loved you after that! :p

Nitrane

10th June 2004, 14:42

I bet he loved you after that! :p

honestly Emily_Ching, who would stick around to find out? Why, he would have sauteed my liver with onions for just stopping and giving him the chance. comprende? He wasn't hurt, thats the main thing, he got away with a bruised an ego and a bruised... well you know.

Ching

10th June 2004, 14:43

heheehehee

Funny. Although I usually don't approve of laughing when people hurt themselves... :p

Nitrane

10th June 2004, 14:46

heheehehee

Funny. Although I usually don't approve of laughing when people hurt themselves... :p

but he wasn't hurt. In fact I view his fall more as a favour than anything else. Why just think of all the nifty uses he could have made with the nice patch of ice that he oh so cleverly dicovered by sitting on it. Why, he's be the life of the party (if someone needed ice)

Dick

10th June 2004, 15:18

Thing to do in NS is yell "OBSCENITIES!!!!" out car windows...

sic_transit_gloria

10th June 2004, 15:47

I'd have to go with calling someone a pongo..

JonathonNess

10th June 2004, 16:37

the funniest insult I heard was when some kid called the teacher a penis and the teacher looked at him and said take your co_kfilled mouth to the officer. (The teacher actually meant to say cocky)

Nitrane

10th June 2004, 17:18

cocky filled mouth? That makes far less sense then the latter.

Pirate

10th June 2004, 18:00

Thing to do in NS is yell "OBSCENITIES!!!!" out car windows...
Yes, or how you swear at cadets

wb256

10th June 2004, 18:07

Your moms so fat they had to took her grad picture with a satellite

No, this is an incorect use of a your mom joke. It is insulting in some concievable way, and makes sense. You have to use them completely incorrectly if you want to be as cool as I am (and judging by recent polls, I'm pretty damned cool).

For example, I might make a comeback to your comment like "your mom's a grad picture" or "your mom's a satellite".

Solid Gold.

Dick

10th June 2004, 18:14

Solid Gold.Your moms solid gold.

SLt T. Clausen

10th June 2004, 22:44

No, this is an incorect use of a your mom joke. It is insulting in some concievable way, and makes sense. You have to use them completely incorrectly if you want to be as cool as I am (and judging by recent polls, I'm pretty damned cool).

For example, I might make a comeback to your comment like "your mom's a grad picture" or "your mom's a satellite".

Solid Gold.
Yeah, that's basically the same kind of way we use it... that and the face one... completely trivial...

Dick you're hilarious.

(I can just see it coming.... "you're MOM'S hilarious!" Oooohhh)

Kass

11th June 2004, 02:01

Telling someone that they are something they are clearly not, when they are not expecting it.

eg walking up to someone (preferably that you know) that is youngish and aying "Your old", or someone who is not fat and saying "your fat".

Highy amusing. (NB must be acrefully used in case the person actually thinks they are that eg an anorexic)

Peregrine005

11th June 2004, 02:48

I used to tell people to drink bleech a lot. Kinda got old. Now I tell them to drink gasoline.

Dick

11th June 2004, 05:59

Telling someone that they are something they are clearly not, when they are not expecting it.
Dude, You're sooooooo asian.

Ching

11th June 2004, 07:47

Dude, You're sooooooo asian.
Thank you, I"m proud. :)

Nitrane

11th June 2004, 08:47

With one of my female friends, I'll say "Me and your Mom were up all night cleaning dishes, we had to scrub them so hard, now my hands are sore..." etc etc...

Kass

12th June 2004, 02:53

I'm Asian?!?!?!

Nows theres something I've never heard before

Vie en Rose

12th June 2004, 14:14

I think the best one was when someone said, "Oh my god, are you deaf or something?!". All I could say was, "Um, yeah.." *takes out hearing aid* :D

Haddad-Bowler

12th June 2004, 14:22

Hahaha well someone called me a dick head the other day..? that is not insulting.. lol unless ur head actually looked like one.. and then scott cooper called me slow... not insulting.. lol but to make golden mad and stuff I just call her a bos'n.. lol she gets so mad!!!.. lol i don't know why!! lol

*HB*

wb256

12th June 2004, 15:42

Oh, thought of another one. It's the same forumla as "your mom's a ____!" only "I'll kick you in the _____"

Also funny is using racial slurs, for races other than the person you're making fun of.

Just basically insults that make me look stupid are funny I think. I'd rather the joke be on me than on someone else (unless it's a harmless joke, or if it's on someone super mean, like Hitler)

M. Ward

12th June 2004, 15:58

if it's on someone super mean, like Hitler)

Or Walt Disney

wb256

13th June 2004, 14:03

Or Walt Disney

So true. The amount of sweatshop labour his company is responsible for...blah

SgtIsernewfie

13th June 2004, 14:29

I think the best one was when someone said, "Oh my god, are you deaf or something?!". All I could say was, "Um, yeah.." *takes out hearing aid* :D

Only def people are def....so eat a vince...

Pirate

13th June 2004, 14:58

once i was mad at a friend because he was staring at me and I yelled "YOU'RE SO UGLY" and i actually hurt his feeling but ..it got him to stop staring at me..

sassy17

13th June 2004, 15:05

We call each other office supplies...

"You're SUCH an eraser!"
"Highlighter head!"
"Post-it-note for brains!"

ok do people really says these things cause these are real cheesy LOL :D

Nitrane

13th June 2004, 18:18

ok do people really says these things cause these are real cheesy LOL :D

of course they do, don't be a flamingo head.

ArmyBoatswain

14th June 2004, 03:37