your quote from back in the days

[The Blue Tory]

Considering that the majority of us here are from the old days when "verbal punishment" aka "jacking up" was still partially acceptable, there must be a couple of you who have went on rants towards a cadet at least once in your career.

Lets hear your favourite or most humourous rant...

[K Piper]

Too much from FMJ that isn't suitable here....

Come back later.

[The Blue Tory]

Too much from FMJ that isn't suitable here....

Come back later.

BTW I meant CW appropriate as in no swears...

One of my ol' favourites, was when cadet starts to laugh in ranks, followed by my asking them of what so funny? is being a cadet funny? is being formed up funny? where he thought he was? if he thought this was some kind of cheap comedy club? if he saw a brick wall behind me with a microphone in front of me while I cracked jokes? and so on...

Few people ended up near tears because of some other wordings... but I've only seen a cadet fully crying because of being jacked up, and it was by the master of it, Nangle.

[Bright Eyes]

I've never understood the training objective of making a 13 year old cry. What PO does that fall under? :rolleyes:

[DVessey]

I've never understood the training objective of making a 13 year old cry. What PO does that fall under? :rolleyes:


508 - Sadistic Pass-times for the bored senior cadet

:D

[jgoguen]

Well why don't we try to salvage this potentially interesting thread by NOT going on about what is and isn't acceptable. We should all know the difference by now, and we should certainly know what's acceptable on CW.

Having said that, my more popular rants are:


the difference between ICECAP and ICEPAC (ICECAP...why would you confirm your entire lecture right in the middle of your lecture....)
the C-7/Lee Enfield #7/Daisy Air Rifle are NOT guns, they're RIFLES (still haven't met someone who can carry a gun the same way they carry their rifle...)
the importance of drill and of doing drill properly (self-discipline, pride...all that good stuff)

[Caz]

Good idea, Joel.

Two of my favorites:

"It's a parade square, try marching on it"

"This isn't Burger King, and that's not a paper hat. Your wedge goes on the right side of your head!"

-R.

[CanuckPilot]

One particular SLC Staff sergeant in 2000....

"This cadence sounds like popcorn! I HATE Popcorn! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!!!!!"

Ah, Sgt Roe... what a character!

[S Urbanoski]

*tries to remember being a Sgt teaching drill to new cadets

"When doing an about turn, to avoid falling over - SQUEEZE your bum cheeks together"

*tries to quiet 45 new cadets

"No...REALLY"

[The Blue Tory]

*tries to remember being a Sgt teaching drill to new cadets

"When doing an about turn, to avoid falling over - SQUEEZE your bum cheeks together"

*tries to quiet 45 new cadets

"No...REALLY"

Wow! You must have had a really large dose of that aboriginal memory tea to be able to remember that far back! jk

[Medic_Marleau]

"Your other left AC Bloggins"
"This is my left, this is my right. My hands are in the air because I'm not very bright"

Ahh the good old days when i could do that.

[SmileForMe]

"This is my left, this is my right. My hands are in the air because I'm not very bright"

Ahh the good old days when i could do that.
Hahaha oh but that is a good one!!

"here's a good hint, when i say left.. try getting your left foot to hit the ground at the same time. nowww we're getting somewhere!!"

[jgoguen]

*sings* "Put your left hand in, take your left hand out...put your right hand in, take your right hand out..."

And I'm sure you've all heard the rest of that one before ;)

[SmileForMe]

*sings* "Put your left hand in, take your left hand out...put your right hand in, take your right hand out..."

And I'm sure you've all heard the rest of that one before ;)

I can honestly say I never have! LOL :confused:

[Pilot]

Your Other Right! :d

[Coomber 535]

"Your other left AC Bloggins"
"This is my left, this is my right. My hands are in the air because I'm not very bright"

Ahh the good old days when i could do that.

Wait wait wait.... you can't use that anymore?

OOPS...


Well... I have a modified version... one of our officers says we should call them "f" and "i" .... b/c it's easier for them to distinguish which is which. The problem is that it confuses the cadets who know their left from their right!

So I say... "This is my F, this is my I, I'm saying this because I don't know why"

[grass_roots]

very stern scary voice "are these beds up to gunnery standard?"
very nervous voice "No PO"
very stern scary voice "Then you know what to do?"
very disheartened voice "Yes PO"
very stern scary voice "Then do so now"
*beds goes flying*
very stern scary voice "now correct the situation"
*stern scary person exits room*

bed drills and room inspections had the best lines, haha, good times

[hotwire]

"When doing an about turn, to avoid falling over - SQUEEZE your bum cheeks together"


I still stand by that, with a slightly different wording:

"To keep your balance, squeeze your butt cheeks together. Really, it works!"

[Lance]

no offence to band people ;)

when I was 2IC of the Drill Team, and a Corps GI, I always used to yell at the Drill Team and other Divisions;

"Get your knees up! You are NOT the Band!!!!!!!" with my mean face. Sure it ticked people off... but they got their knees up... and I got in trouble... but I didnt care... it was kinda funny

[The Blue Tory]

no offence to band people ;)

when I was 2IC of the Drill Team, and a Corps GI, I always used to yell at the Drill Team and other Divisions;

"Get your knees up! You are NOT the Band!!!!!!!" with my mean face. Sure it ticked people off... but they got their knees up... and I got in trouble... but I didnt care... it was kinda funny

Oh yeah... that happened with our drill team as well... considering Band paraded on the same night as us...

[lord_rupert]

The old classics are best

It's mind over matter
I don't mind
And YOU don't matter!

ROO :D

[wells]

"When doing an about turn, to avoid falling over - SQUEEZE your bum cheeks together"
LOL....I remember being told that and using it in my drill classes.

[SmileForMe]

Hahaha it IS a classic!! :D

[Lance]

Oh I just remembered another one, one time at a wake-a-thon, this year, we were just cleaning up, almost done, so I told everyone who wasnt cleaning up to fall in. Half these people cleaned, and the other half just watched. They were standing around watching them clean while in division so I said
"half of you didnt care about cleaning up five minutes ago, so you better not start caring now!" and stood them at attention, it got quite the chuckle from the other senior hands and officers...

[The Blue Tory]

Me: So when does the GO train pass?
Cdt: Pardon, Warrant?
Me: The GO train, when does it pass by here?
Cdt: It doesn't, Warrant
Me: Well, I could have sworn I've seen it go along those train tracks on your pants there before...

[Coupland]

Officer
Where is your uniform?
Cadet
at home sir
Officer
Where are you?
Cadet
at cadets sir
Officer
What do cadets do?
Cadet
................................... wear their uniforms...?....
Officer
And why are you not wearing your uniform?
Cadet
.....some lame excuse....
Officer
Cadets wear uniforms, they are blue. **walks away**

[Squanto]

There was this one Gunnery PO that I had when I took Gunz 2, and I love her to death, and she used to come up to us (usually me .. *hangs head*) if we were trying to look around ..

PO - WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AROUND?
Smart Alek Cadet - usually no answer
PO - WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER ME?
Smart Alek Cadet - Because you're not suppost to answer a negative PO!
PO - Walks away .. shaking head

Or the whole, DON'T LOOK AT ME, I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER, I DON'T LOVE YOU!!!

My favourite one, post-chap tuning up saying was when I was at staff, and my kids tried to cross the line and tell me what to do.

PO - Ya know what?
Caldet Bloggins - What PO?
PO - When you make as much as I do right now, you can tell me how to do my job.
Cadet - When will that be PO?
PO - Well, what you make in a week, I make in a day, you do the math ..

I was a mean NCO .. reading these over just made me realize that

[sailor_baby]

"When doing an about turn, to avoid falling over - SQUEEZE your bum cheeks together"


I remember TG2 sail......we were walking to class and our division started to fall aparat....our DPO deceided to give us a mini drill class and we weren't trying that hard....so he told us to do the about turn in the same way....squeeze the butt cheeks.......so everytime we had to do an about turn, instead of yelling out the timing, we all had to yell SQUEEZE!!!then out of nowhere, two gunz divisions march by us, followed by a bosn's division.......there was a lot of laughter and strange looks to say the least.....lol



as for my saying:

coxn: Pack it up, I'm doing a head count
cadets: *still continue to talk
coxn: Am I speaking chinese here?
cadets: no chief
coxn: Then *be quiet* so I can do my head count....
cadets: yes chief

*not excatly the words he used......* :D

[jhunter]

I had a trick where I was able to shout a foot, and take a sharp breath of air right after. The result was I could call every foot for an indefinate length of time. This proved handy when I was a GT PO. I simply said something like: "Get in step! Do I have to call every foot for you?" If they couldn't get in step, I ended saying each foot until they were halted at their next location. I'd then say something like: "There, now don't you all feel stupid for someone having to instruct you on every step?"

[Flyguy]

Some of my favorites are from the glider field where we usually have a passle of very new cadets who don't listen to the very important information briefing early in the morning and so wouldn't know a glider from a towplane...

Briefing Rule #1: Always keep your head up and looking around for moving objects on the field.
Field Lesson #1: "Hey cadet...what's that!?! **points to towplane** Watch out for the whirling blades of death...they hurt!!"

Briefing Rule #2: Never, ever touch the red knob, ever!
Field Lesson #2: Don't touch the RED KNOB, you'll have a short flight and a ****** off pilot...that's a bad combination.

Briefing Rule #3: After the glider has launched, run off the field.
Field Lesson #3: This is a runway, not a walkway...RUN OFF THE FIELD!!

[Primer]

Old School RSM asking a cadet if he is in the Air Force.

Cadet: No Sir.

RSM: WELL GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF YOUR POCKETS: :rolleyes:

Ruck up and Soldier on::::

[Canadian Made]

Fer some reason, I can't member much of the verbalities I've used...

Physicalities on the other hand... I was a huge fan of night an day an holding a combat boot in each hand straight out in front of yerself, I think I might've made a few ppl fill sandbags with forks once too...

In my younger days, myself an an other cadet got to arguin in ranks... we were sentenced to being tied together at the ankle (like a 3 legged race) an wrist an made to fill a jerry can with water 20 feet away using a table spoon...

[Gunner]

To a cadet on camp:

You enjoying this camp son?

Yes Sir

Well stop it! This is not Butlins, do you see any red coats around here?

[jhunter]

I was entering 'head shed' when I saw a cadet from my LHQ on a bench, I asked what he was doing there and he said he was being RTU'd. I asked him why he was being sent home, and he said something like 'I was found in the female barracks after dark' or something, and I said 'No, you're being sent home because you were caught' and I walked off.

[funkyfairy]

When I was an AB or something..."This is my left *prove left arm*, this is my right*prove right arm*, I am a gumby" whilst running from one end of the parade ground, around the flagpole and back to the squad.

Now we just make them all say it in the squad without the running bit.

[Margaret Allen]

To badly dressed squad "you look like Mother Browns washing"
"the girl guides march better than you"

[Talana]

I remember a few times being "jacked up" by my flight staff on SLC...

The first day I arrived I was in a gym at Cold Lake waiting for my kit to be checked, before we were brought to the barracks. It was between 12 and 2 in the morning and I have been on a plane for a long time from Nova Scotia. We were all standing around talking when the WO1 came in, she was scary she had a shaved head and everything. She pointed to us and said you come here, at first we did not know who she was talking to but it ended up being me. I marched over in front of her and she told me to stand at attention on the line in front of her and she ripped me up and down in front of everyone (I think she was trying to make me cry) it was a horrible welcome to the next three weeks of lack of freedom.

One morning during fall in in front the female barracks, my F/Sgt walked over to me I stood at attention, and in front of the whole wing she said to me, "What makes, you think you are good enough to be here? You are not a leader, look at you, you don't deserve to be standing on this parade square...." on and on she went.

Alot of people were crying that day, I think everyone hated the course for at least the first two weeks.

I also remember NOT being informed about not being permitted to put my hands on my hips. So, I also did that ONCE and in about two seconds I had about seven staff screaming at me "oops"

I am glad things have changed since 1997 right Tom, or have they is Wing how do you feel?? umm woof still used??

Lt. Henley Talana

[sic_transit_gloria]

Come on, I'm sure at least one of you have heard "That is disgusting. It makes me want to puke in my wedge and put it back on."

[etowncadet]

Briefing Rule #3: After the glider has launched, run off the field.
Field Lesson #3: This is a runway, not a walkway...RUN OFF THE FIELD!!

Lol... I use that one alllll the time.

[M.Griffith]

Briefing Rule #2: Never, ever touch the red knob, ever!
Field Lesson #2: Don't touch the RED KNOB, you'll have a short flight and a ****** off pilot.....

.....and the pilot is sitting behind you!

as the staped in cadet trys to turn around to see the pilot with out sucess, you can see the thought process as the cadet realize what that means.

Down in netook most of our pilots are rear seat pilots so i usualy use it.

[Kat]

"Okay...I want everyone to grab a cinderblock and some rope and tie one end to the block and the other to your ankle....and then we're going swimming..."

cadet: "Where do we get cinderblocks??"

lol, I was just always joking around with my kids, they knew I wasn't serious...

[<Pilot_in_Command>]

Lol... I use that one alllll the time.
Something that I've always wanted to say(scream) to cadets (when they're playing on the active)

"GET OFF MY AIRFIELD... NOW!!!!!"

Of course, I probably will never do that because I'm too benevolant. I've never had to resort to screaming, shouting, raising my voice at cadets because in the end, you're not accomplishing anything. You want to inspire respect, not fear despise people who use the Machaviallian method of leadership (the end justifies the mean, and it is better to be feared that loved)]

But who knows, if I am a LCO at the time, I might say it for .... and giggles.

[NicoleH]

To one cadet in a flight of cadets who are being chewed out
"Why do you look like I just killed your dog??? I did not just kill your dog!!"

[hawkeye]

no offence to band people ;)

when I was 2IC of the Drill Team, and a Corps GI, I always used to yell at the Drill Team and other Divisions;

"Get your knees up! You are NOT the Band!!!!!!!" with my mean face. Sure it ticked people off... but they got their knees up... and I got in trouble... but I didnt care... it was kinda funny

I never was too fond of that one lance, seeing as 60% of the drill team was band.

[VanZeumeren]

I try not to shriek and yell any more. Everytime I raise my voice in anger, I get a mental image of someone not in cadets walking by and seeing me, a grown man (and a large one at that) bellowing at twelve year olds. I figure that it is a rather ridiculous image. Instead, I speak in even tones or growl.

Here's mine, from my year as a TG3 Gunnery DO:

Cadet:(probably in jest) "Sir, you're mean and scary."
Me: "You want cute and cuddly? Get a cat."

[Lt(N) AM Chan]

Walking by the cadet blocks this summer, notices a cadet with his gunshirt HALF tucked in, tunic wide open.

"This isn't your bedroom son! Get back in the blocks and dress yourself there!"

[Loyal Edmonton]

Something that I've always wanted to say(scream) to cadets (when they're playing on the active)

"GET OFF MY AIRFIELD... NOW!!!!!"

because I'm too benevolant. .


w/e :rolleyes:

[DA Wright]

As the OC of ITAC in Trenton, I was in the training centre to pick up the staff cadets to go out for a sqn staff dinner. This was the first time I'd ever worn civvies in the training centre that summer, and since we were going to a decent restaurant, I was spiffed up.

As I pass a very busy cadet canteen, I get hear a loud comment from one of my female cadets, "Wow sir, you look even better with your clothes on."

The whole canteen goes suddenly quiet.

It took her a few moments, then she realised what she'd said. She avoided me for the remaining week of the course.

[Margaret Allen]

A case of "Cadet - open mouth, change foot"

[Juice]

Ahhh TGIII Gunnery. FOnd memories from 2001 when I was on course for the final time. I'll never forget the inspiring words of my male staff cadet as he went up and down our hall daily.

"Gentlemen! This hallway smells like ****! Fix it!"

It never grew old, even up until the last day.

Or Trade Group Two Gunnery.

"You guys suck! Why do you suck so much?!?" Everytime we lost daily cock-of-the-walk. Us Ccdts knew our staff was just having fun, no CHAP issues there, at least not for us specifically. And then when we won cock-of-the-walk at the end. "You guys got lucky. You still suck though." But the smile gave it all away, haha.

Also from Trade Group Two Gunnery:

"Orienteering! (Orienteering!) Orienterring! (Orienterring!) Map and Compass! (Map and Compass!) Orienteering! (Orienteering!)

While we got stupid looks from all the other divisions, they were all unaware that we were going to play tag in one of the buildings that was about 15 floors high. Best orienteering classes of my life, lol ;)

Good times, good times.

And my own personal favourite: "I only have one rule about skits. They can't suck"

[Juice]

I try not to shriek and yell any more. Everytime I raise my voice in anger, I get a mental image of someone not in cadets walking by and seeing me, a grown man (and a large one at that) bellowing at twelve year olds. I figure that it is a rather ridiculous image. Instead, I speak in even tones or growl.

Here's mine, from my year as a TG3 Gunnery DO:

Cadet:(probably in jest) "Sir, you're mean and scary."
Me: "You want cute and cuddly? Get a cat."

Excellent! I may have to steal that one from you! ;)

[D-Train]

Amusing story:
While on my TG2 Bos'n at Acadia, our DO would always tell us at inspection if someone farted and we cracked up laughing to keep quiet because "bodily functions are normal and not amusing!" So we were told that if we had to fart to prove and ask to go to the heads to flatulate. Later that evening:

Cadet: "Ma'am, may i go to the heads?"
DO: "Why, we're in the middle of inspection"
Cadet: "I need to flasturbate ma'am!"

Needless to say we were in stitches for about 15 minutes and earned an extra drill period afterwards!

[amos]

The bus rolls up and the door opens, a short but build individual steps on to the bus as a hush comes over the cadets.

I am CPO1 “XXXXXXX”
I am the Chief of the Gunnery Department do not mistake this.
I am not Mickey Mouse and this is not Disney Land.
You have been selected for Summer Training, and training you is what I intend to do.
When I say GO you will get off this bus, but you will not walk, you will not run, you will fly.
Welcome to HMCS Quadra now GO!!!!!


As a staff cadet working for this individual everyday was a new adventure.

[Juice]

The bus rolls up and the door opens, a short but build individual steps on to the bus as a hush comes over the cadets.

I am CPO1 “XXXXXXX”
I am the Chief of the Gunnery Department do not mistake this.
I am not Mickey Mouse and this is not Disney Land.
You have been selected for Summer Training, and training you is what I intend to do.
When I say GO you will get off this bus, but you will not walk, you will not run, you will fly.
Welcome to HMCS Quadra now GO!!!!!


As a staff cadet working for this individual everyday was a new adventure.

Hah, thats funny. I remember on before getting off the bus for TG III Gunnery at Ontario, the Chief of Gunnery came onto the bus and said:

Welcome to HMCS Ontario,
The most important thing to remember while you are here is that this is a summer TRAINING centre, not a camp. You are NOT here to have fun, you are here to be trained.

And then the next day we were sent on a surprise 80km hike....good times, good times...

[Kijak]

For anyone that knows me - "NO KIJAK", good times, good times.
"Mr. Kijak, are those triple soled boots? why no Sir, I grew a few inches since last week"
Mr. Kijak a cutlass is not a toy to just be throwing around

[Kat]

For anyone that knows me - "NO KIJAK", good times, good times.
"Mr. Kijak, are those triple soled boots? why no Sir, I grew a few inches since last week"
Mr. Kijak a cutlass is not a toy to just be throwing around
Hey Kijak, haven't seen you in awhile!
Where have you been?

[FlagPartyIsMine]

no offence to band people ;)

when I was 2IC of the Drill Team, and a Corps GI, I always used to yell at the Drill Team and other Divisions;

"Get your knees up! You are NOT the Band!!!!!!!" with my mean face. Sure it ticked people off... but they got their knees up... and I got in trouble... but I didnt care... it was kinda funny

my squadron use to say that all the time on regular parade nights...band didn't like it, but that was too bad.

oh, then every sprots night, our CO would come in for closing parade and say the same thing "Smells like you all had a good time." Seven years of listening to that same line...AAAHHHHH!

but this one is my favorite:
when cadets were leaning on the wall "that wall has been standing for 62 years, it doesn't need you to help it."

[F/Sgt. Steele]

This is not an art gallery, there's nothing good to look at...oh, so you think i'm art? stare that that picaso across the hall titled "wall"!

lol

[Geotech]

Being from an ARTY corps and serving on a Gun detachment, i always loved giving the rant about cadets calling a rifle a "gun". Or the rant about them saluting thier colors the gun. And of course there is always was my many speeches about the detachment being too slow the rule being the actually field battery when under fire can put a round in the air every 30 seconds, I of course only expect a round every minute and thats without incoming fire.

[TWoyma]

I've used this one at Recruit Training a couple of times...

Female staff cadet: "Midshipman Woyma, one of your recruits who is supposed to be at attention insists on looking at me while standing in the chow line."
*myself and the female staff cadet walk to recruit in question*
Me: "Recruit Shmotz, were you looking at my Petty Officer while you are at the position of attention?"
Recruit: "Yes, Sir."
Me: "Why were you looking at my Petty Officer when you are at the position of attention, Recruit Shmotz? Do you find her attractive?"
Recruit: "No, Sir!"
(This is the point when the recruit realizes there was no correct answer, and the instinctive one was also the wrong one.)
*I turn to the staff cadet*
Me: "Petty Officer, I do believe he just called you ugly."
*I walk away*

[Wolfmann]

Considering that the majority of us here are from the old days when "verbal punishment" aka "jacking up" was still partially acceptable, there must be a couple of you who have went on rants towards a cadet at least once in your career.

Lets hear your favourite or most humourous rant...

A quadra gunner once kicked sand in my face as I tumbled OFF the A-Frame at Quadra's confidence course. I would've much preferred a stiff tongue lashing.

The most memorable was anytime Chief Spore (I believe her name was?) was on the parade square and I wasn't. She was chief of gunnery summer of 1991.

[Juice]

Well, this wasn't from back in the day, but I thought it was pretty cool. This happened last weekend while at a drill practice for competition. We were trying to get the team to be able to do the ground/take-up arms at 120 cadence, and many of them were complaining that it was impossible. So I demonstrated, and showed that it could be done.

Team Captain: See? It can be done. If CI Braet can do it, you can do it.

Team Member: Yeah, but what can't CI Braet do?

It was so funny that they decided to make it the team motto. It's great, lol ;)

[Steve]

About to go on stage at honour band:


"Don't screw up!"